Find the Thread (Stop Following Your Passion. Follow Your Pattern.)

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Welcome back to Big Ideas Made Simple.

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I'm Jess Weber, speaker, entrepreneur, and someone who genuinely convinced...

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Welcome back to Big Ideas Made Simple.

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I'm Jess Weber, speaker, entrepreneur, and someone who is genuinely convinced that most

people are one clear idea away from the thing that they have been circling around for

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years.

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This show exists to get you there faster.

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So every episode, I take one big idea, strip it down to what actually matters, and hand

you something you can use before the episode is even over.

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Not theory for the sake of it.

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Not a framework that sounds good in captions but fails.

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No, no theory for the sake of it.

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No framework for the sound.

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No theory for the sake of it.

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No framework that sounds good in caption but falls apart the second you try to apply it in

real life.

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Just the thing.

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So let's get into it.

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Last episode, we were talking about mashed potatoes.

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And I mean that in the context of the oversized version of yourself being shoved into a

container that was never going to close, no matter how long you stood there and tried to

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make the lid fit.

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That version of you that keeps folding itself back in, not out of fear exactly, but out of

loyalty to a season that has already ended.

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And I left you with a promise that in this episode we would talk

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naming the thing you find when you finally stop trying to fit.

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And I left you with a promise that this episode we were going to name the thing that you

find when you...

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And last episode I made you a promise that we would name the thing that you were trying to

find when you stopped finally trying to fit in.

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So here we are.

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ah But I want to be honest about what finding that thread actually looks like from the

inside.

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Because it's not a clean, orchestrated moment.

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It's not a retreat, or a worksheet, or a lightning bolt of clarity while you are

journaling on a Sunday morning looking over your perfectly manicured lawn with a steaming

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cup of your favorite coffee.

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At least, it was not for me.

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So...

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What it actually looks like is this.

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you're uncomfortable.

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You know that the box no longer fits.

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You feel it every time you brush up against the sides.

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So you start reaching.

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You pivot your offer or add a new service or try on a different title to see if maybe this

one feels more like you.

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You rebrand.

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You hop industries.

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You take a course.

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You convince yourself that one more certification is the thing standing between you

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clarity.

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And none of that quite lands.

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Not because something is wrong with you, but because you are reaching for the next thing

when the thread you actually need is already in your hand.

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You aren't missing the thread.

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You are missing the language for the one that you have always been holding.

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So...

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Here is what makes that so hard to see in real time.

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A thread is small.

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It's not loud, right?

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It doesn't announce itself or send you calendar invites.

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It's...

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a little bit fragile right now, probably because it hasn't been named yet by you.

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And it's been quietly running through every single thing that you're building or being

taught or problem you're solving or thing you're creating while you are busy looking for

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the right storage unit to put it all in.

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So last episode, we talked a lot about getting out of your own way and getting out of the

box.

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Today,

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we name what you find when you stop looking for a new one.

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So here's my reframe and I want this to sit here a moment because I think it's a piece

that most people tend to rush past.

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Your discomfort is not a distraction, it's a direction.

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The friction that you are feeling when the container no longer fits you is not a signal

that something's broken.

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It's the thread getting restless.

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It's been running underneath everything you're doing, patient, quiet, consistent.

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And the discomfort is your system finally saying out loud, this is not the whole thing.

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There's more here.

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Stop compressing it and look at what keeps showing up.

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Now,

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I want to say something directly before we keep going because there's a version of this

conversation that gets very close to advice that I would label genuinely unhelpful.

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And that is the phrase of follow your passion and the money will follow.

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I don't believe that.

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And I am not saying that in this episode.

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I don't want you to follow your passion.

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I want you to follow your pattern.

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That thread that we're talking about, it's not a feeling, it's your pattern.

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And specifically, it's the outcome that you consistently produce.

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It's the problem that you are...

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consistently solving the specific move that you make in rooms, regardless of what you are

technically there to do.

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So it's observable.

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It's provable.

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You can look across your entire history, every role, pivot, project, whatever, and watch

it show up somewhere in there time and time again, even in the contexts where you were

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genuinely trying to do something completely different.

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So think about that for a second.

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It shows up even when you're trying to do something else.

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That is not coincidence.

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That's the pattern.

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And patterns do not lie the way feelings do.

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So the reason most people can't see it, it's not because it's hidden or underdeveloped or

waiting somewhere new to be discovered.

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It's because you are standing inside of it.

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And the thing you're standing inside of is almost, the thing you're standing inside of

makes it almost impossible to see clearly on the outside, right?

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So.

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I have been told no fewer than a half dozen times recently that this is what people would

label a cobbler children have no shoes situation.

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And for the record, I had never heard that phrase before this year.

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And I'll just say if you've also started hearing it everywhere,

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uh I would bet we're probably using the same AI tools.

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Which, on the topic of tools, if you're trying to figure out how to make the leap from

chat GPT to Claude without losing your own voice in the process, I have a guide on big

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ideas made simple that I made for one of my friends.

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And I only say that because I believe that AI tools are genuinely useful.

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They're just not a substitute for original thought.

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So, sorry, ADHD rabbit trail there, but the cobbler.

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The reason we keep...

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but the cobbler.

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The reason it keeps getting said is because it does keep being true.

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The expert is often the last one to apply their own expertise or experience to themselves.

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Not because of neglect, but proximity.

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You can't read the label from the inside of the jar.

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And

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I know this acutely first hand in a way that made me genuinely laugh when I finally

clocked it.

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I have spent the last three, almost three and a half years inside of iLove Coaching

helping people find clear, specific, unambiguous language for exactly this.

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What they do, who they help, what outcome they consistently create, regardless of industry

or income level or experience, and whether or not their work fits into a single job title.

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And it's something I'm really pretty good at.

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But it took me all of that time to finally develop my own version of that language.

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I mean, I just recently landed on it.

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And it came through a conversation that I was having, not for that reason.

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I was making a case to someone who had built an organized, high-performance...

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IP and honestly probably more than almost anybody I've ever been in a room with.

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So we're talking industry level reputation and the kind of person whose name makes rooms

go quiet a little bit or the fangirls start squealing when you say that you have a direct

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relationship with them.

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And making that case to someone who would see straight through anything vague or borrowed

required me to say clearly and specifically what I actually do.

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So I couldn't just battle.

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I couldn't just babble off a list of offerings.

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I had to succinctly say a singular underlying function, which is my thread.

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Three flippin years, y'all.

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one conversation and that language finally came through in that moment not because I

suddenly was smarter but because that individual that I was talking to was fully outside

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of my current world and I had to make my pattern, my thread legible to somebody who wasn't

with me side by side every day.

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So the thread is not something that you invent, but it's something you stop finally being

too close to see.

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And here is that framework that I think goes with it.

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It...

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came to me truly in the most direct way possible from the expert himself, a man who

arguably built his entire career on articulating the idea better than anybody else working

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in the space today.

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So I want to be transparent.

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I didn't accidentally run into Donald Miller.

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I planned it.

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He had a keynote speech at an industry event that I was attending last month, and he also

had a breakout session.

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And he also had a breakout session, which I strategically showed up to an hour early with

a copy of his book, you know, the hardcover, Building a Story brand, and a Sharpie.

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because I believe that if you're going to ask somebody for something, you do not leave it

to chance.

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I may also have a Sharpie situation that I'm not quite ready to fully examine, but that's

between me and my um writing utensil drawer.

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So when I got to this breakout room, it was quiet when I walked in.

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It was just him and a couple crew members finishing setting up.

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So I came in, I set my backpack down, found a seat, put the book in my lap, with Sharpie

in hand, and waited.

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Not in a creepy, unsettling way, but in a very deliberate, this is my one shot to connect

with him kind of way.

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And so when there was a natural lull and I wasn't interrupting him, I walked over and

introduced myself.

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And I explained my thing about getting books signed by the person who authored

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them because that's how they earned the spot on my bookshelf.

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And he smiled and appreciated the fact that I'd brought his original hardcover.

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and was kind enough to ask me what I was working on.

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So I told him, speaking career, business coaching, newly launched podcast, and he was very

engaged.

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And then I asked him a question that I tend to ask a lot of people who are in this space.

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I said, when you were getting started and building up to where you are now,

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did you start first with writing to organize your thoughts or speaking in order to test

the ideas with a live audience before inking them to paper?

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And I asked that because the second path is the one that I'm currently on, but I'm always

curious about how others get their start.

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And he said the second route was absolutely the right one in his opinion.

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Speaking is how you test your message in real time and feel what lands.

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You watch what makes people lean forward versus what loses them in the first 30 seconds.

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And then you write it down.

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And that was very affirming to hear because it was exactly what the show has been for me.

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And then I asked him, what would you tell somebody who is earlier in this journey?

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Like what advice would you give them?

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And he said it so perfectly.

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He said, find a unique solution to a problem and tell that story consistently.

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Not find a unique problem, find a unique perspective on the solution.

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Because the problem that you solve probably already exists.

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There's going to be other people in that space too.

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What makes you the thread worth following isn't that the problem is new.

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It's that your specific angle, your combination of experience and perspective and scar

tissue even produces something that nobody else can create in the exact same way.

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And when you can tell the story of that consistently, it

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changes everything.

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It doesn't have to be polished.

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But when the story becomes of the solution becomes recognizable over time, it's what makes

someone who cross paths with you once remember clearly what you do when they see you again

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later in a completely different context.

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So that story over time

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on every stage, in every room, in every format is the foundation of Donald Miller's book,

Building a Story Brand.

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It's one clear problem, one clear guide, one clear path through, and the guide is not the

hero.

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The person you are helping is the hero.

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So your thread is not about your story.

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It's the story of the problem that you solve and the specific way that only you solve it.

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And so here's the question.

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Not what do you do?

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Not what have you been paid for?

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What problem do you have a solution to that nobody else approaches from quite the same

angle?

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Or,

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What is the thing that you see about this problem that others in the same space aren't

seeing yet?

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What is the move that is distinctly and recognizably yours in this space?

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That right there, that is the thread.

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So it's not a skill set.

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It's not a resume line.

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It's the specific perspective.

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that you bring to a problem that already exists, told clearly and consistently enough that

people start to associate the problem with your name.

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And here's what happens when you name it at that level.

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Everything else you've built stops looking like a scattered collection of projects held

together with rubber bands and a prayer, and it starts

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reading like a body of work.

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So your podcast, your keynote, the coaching, the decades of things that have been built

and burned and rebuilt, all of it becomes evidence of one coherent function.

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And that coherence is the thing that makes people lean in and want to know more.

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So here is what that looks like in practice across two rooms about three weeks apart.

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At

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A previous event, I had the pieces.

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So I was telling people I was leaning into speaking and that I just launched this podcast

and that I had a keynote booked and that I was still coaching and consulting businesses,

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all of which were true.

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They're all genuinely energizing.

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They're in alignment with my passion spaces, but it was still a list.

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I was describing my containers and I wasn't naming the thread that was running through

them.

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Someone could hear every single piece of that and still walk away without a clear sense of

what I actually do at the most fundamental level because I hadn't named it yet.

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I was holding the thread.

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I just didn't have the language for it yet.

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And so a few weeks later, I was in a conversation that required me to be specific, not

impressive, not comprehensive, but specific.

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I was making that case to someone who would see straight through anything of mine that was

vague or borrowed.

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And so I needed to say it in one clear sentence what I actually did.

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That one underlying pattern, the thread.

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And in the act of making the case out loud, the language finally is what came through.

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So.

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What I ended up saying was, I help people find a clear path through their information to

their outcome.

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That's it.

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And at that moment, I had that sentence, everything snapped into place behind it.

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So the podcast is that, my keynotes are all that, my coaching has always been that, even

my teaching background.

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that I used to tuck back because it felt like a previous life, that too was the same

thing.

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They're not separate things or separate lives.

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They're all the same pattern in a different format.

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And here's what changed for me.

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I stopped needing to list all the things.

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I stopped hoping that the person across from me would connect with the pieces and find my

thread.

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on my behalf.

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I could say the one sentence and let everything else be proof of it.

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So the conversation became completely different.

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Not because I suddenly was more impressive, but because I was finally far more clear.

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And that is what Donald Miller was pointing at for me.

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The story you tell about the problem you solve is what makes you recognizable.

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It's not your credentials.

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It's not the container you happen to be operating from at this moment.

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The clarity of your perspective on the thing that you keep being called back to, told

consistently enough that people know it before you even have to finish the sentence.

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And here is what I want you to notice about how all of that language arrived.

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It was not some paid strategy session or brand audit.

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It was a real conversation in context where vague simplicity was not going to cut it.

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The thread doesn't always reveal itself in a grand orchestrated moment.

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It often shows up in the conversations you were having for a completely different reason.

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And so it is always

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worth the ask.

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Here's the thing that I really want you to do this week and I want to make it as specific

and I want to make it as specific as possible because this pattern is not something that

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you're going to find by thinking harder alone in a quiet room.

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So ask yourself what problem do I have any

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Ask yourself, what problem do I have a unique?

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Ask yourself, what problem do I have a unique solution to that I keep being called back

to, regardless of room, title, industry, context, whatever?

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Not what do you do or what were you hired for, but what problems keep finding you even

when there is no job description?

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What do you solve differently than every other person in the room doing technically the

same work?

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What is the move that is distinctly and recognizably yours?

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I want to prepare you for what that will feel like when you land on it.

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It'll probably feel really small, smaller than you expected, and too easy, like

embarrassingly simple, and like the whole thing.

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you will question and go, was that really all that I was searching for?

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And I want to tell you right now, yes, that is it.

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Because your thread is not supposed to be complicated.

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It's supposed to be true.

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And true things are always almost simpler.

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And true things are almost always simpler than we expect once we stop overbuilding them.

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So,

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Once you have it, once you can say in like a clean sentence without qualifying it or

apologizing for what it leaves out, notice what happens to everything around it.

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The separate projects stop looking like a scattered list and start reading like a body of

work.

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The pivot history stops looking like indecision or discontentment and starts reading as a

range in service of one clear function.

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So you stop needing to chase credentials.

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every time you walk into a new room because the thread does the work for you.

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The thread has the power to remove any imposter syndrome that might have crept in because

you didn't have the ability to name the pattern before.

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So it's not a niche.

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It's not a new lane or the smaller box that you're climbing into.

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It is truly the thing that makes you coherent in every room you've ever been in.

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And coherent

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creates trust.

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Trust in yourself and trust for others.

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And trust is truly what makes the right person lean in before you finally finish your

sentence.

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So one last thing, if you can't see your thread from where you're standing right now,

that's not because it doesn't exist.

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It's a signal that you're probably too close to it in the moment.

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So find someone outside your world.

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Someone who knows the type of work, respects it, but isn't living inside the same walls

that you are.

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And...

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Not because, not to tell you what your thread is, but to reflect back what they've already

seen in you, that you have been too close to name yourself.

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So sometimes the most important clarity we'll ever have arrives in the conversation you

were having for a completely different reason.

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In a pitch or a breakout room, in the moment where you had to finally say it plainly

because vague was not going to be enough.

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Stay curious enough to have the conversations and stay honest enough to recognize what

they are pointing at when they arrive.

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So next episode, we are going to talk about what we actually do with this red.

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Next episode, we are going to talk about what you actually do with a thread once you name

it.

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Because naming it is honestly just the beginning.

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It's not the finish line.

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And when you move from having a thread to building something coherent and lasting with it,

it's exactly where most people end up stalling out.

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So that's what I want to talk about next.

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But first, you do have to find it.

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Remember, your discomfort

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has been trying to tell you something, and it is time to listen to it.

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So that's it for today's episode of Big Ideas Made Simple.

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If this one landed, I hope the thread feels a little less like something you are chasing

and a little more like something you are finally close enough to name.

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and I hope that you'll come find me at Big Ideas Made Simple where you can tell me about

your thread, connect with me directly or see what I'm building, grab the guide I mentioned

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: 00:26:46

on making the leap between AI tools, or even read my weekly newsletter.

287

: 00:26:51

And if you know somebody right now who is in this, reaching for that next thing when the

thread is already in their hand, I would be honored if you would pass this episode along.

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: 00:27:05

The right idea at the right time can change everything.

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: 00:27:08

I'll see you in the next one.